Logical to a Fault

It is true that no one should rely on someone else to give them purpose or happiness, but there is the need to not be alone. We are tribal/village/clan creatures by nature. I have been hurt, disappointed, and had my heart broken enough times that I’m sometimes just numb to everything. I’m sorry if my dreaming of new opportunities and what ‘might have been’ got someone’s hopes up too much. I should have known that the universe doesn’t let us actually enjoy life… only get through it one day at a time. I’m also learning that my previous purpose of getting free of ‘her’ and living a happy and carefree life to spite her isn’t really healthy. Revenge isn’t a healthy purpose, but neither is servitude or living only to make someone else happy. That’s where I’m still struggling… life is difficult, but without a driven purpose it’s hard to know what goal to reach for. Sure there’s money, but it tends to run away just as fast as you make it. Living for someone else’s happiness leads to disappointment because people are flawed, hurtful, and mortal. Living for work will just drive you into the ground. And so I wait… for whatever it is the universe thinks should be my purpose. Hopefully something will drop in my lap soon because I really don’t know what to do with myself besides pimp slap all of the assholes, Karens, and Chads out there…