I discovered something today during my therapy session… I am desperate to find someone to be here with me. Not as a partner or a lover, but as a sanity check. It’s a matter of trusting in myself and that I know what I’m doing is right and that who I am good enough. For too many years I’ve been told how stupid I am, now incapable I am… made to feel the lesser and useless. Now that I don’t have her lording over me I feel vulnerable… unsure… and I crave someone to be here as a second pair of eyes to make sure that I’m doing the right things each day. That I can do this adult thing alone. Unlike others that have trust issues with possible partners or lovers… I don’t trust myself because I was made to believe that I’m not good enough. If that makes you feel uncomfortable or unsure about our situation I can completely understand and I will leave it at that. I just wanted you to know what has made me so full of fear and doubt… and in such a hurry to connect. I need a friend who can help me do this on my own. From there, whatever the future holds is a mystery… but I’m hopeful as we really do get along incredibly well and I believe we have a lot in common.
(That relationship imploded when she broken up with me BTW)
